365 Nights by Charla Muller

Author:Charla Muller
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Group USA, Inc.

JANUARY

New Year’s Resolutions and the Seven-Month Itch

“Brad, it’s not like I minded, but do you think it’s strange that we didn’t do it on New Year’s Eve? Isn’t New Year’s Eve like the mother of all ‘if we’re gonna do it, New Year’s Eve is the night’ night?”

“Oh, I don’t know. New Year’s Eve is so overrated,” Brad said dismissively. He continued, “When you’re standing in a mud puddle, picking at a wedding cake comprised entirely of Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, it kind of kills the mood for anything but a warm bed and lots of Tylenol.”

“Well, New Year’s does seem like an important ‘have sex’ event,” I argued, feeling off-kilter. In the past, I would have felt obligated to have sex with Brad on New Year’s; now I’m out of whack when we aren’t having sex on New Year’s Eve. Is that crazy, or what?

“Are you kidding me?” Brad said defensively. “We have such an unbelievable sex life right now, even I’m amazed and I’m living it. Needing to have sex on New Year’s seems kind of amateurish.”

We did not have sex on New Year’s Eve. All over the world, frisky drunk people got lucky, but my husband cashed in his sex-every-day chip for some hard-earned sleep.

New Year’s Eve was rung in at a wedding. Our invitation was a bit of dumb luck, but it enabled Brad and me to continue the long-standing tradition of spending New Year’s Eve with my mom and dad (and my brother and his wonderful wife). Before you start snickering about a grown woman who still likes to ring in the New Year with Dick and the ’rents, I’d like to note that hanging out with my parents is always an upgrade for Brad and me. We travel in style, we always have a great time, and I’m one of those people who find their parents and their parents’ friends a whole lot of fun.

Last year, we ended up at a black-tie affair at my parents’ club with about forty couples over the age of eighty. We were mildly amused but also somewhat embarrassed, until my sister-in -law convinced us it was just like being on a cruise ship. We just needed to focus on our table—the Captain’s Table, of course—and no one else mattered. And once we changed our focus, my brother and I continued our long-standing tradition of our New Year’s Dance-Off, where we compete for top honors in front of a team of judges made up of parents, spouses, and me. And once again, big sister won.

So in light of the previous year’s debacle of “let’s pretend we’re on a cruise ship and it will all be okay,” a New Year’s Eve wedding did promise to be wonderfully romantic—black tie, dancing, friends, family, and a Krispy Kreme wedding cake. But it was not meant to be—cold rain of biblical proportions blew sideways into the wedding tent (yes, friends, this was an outdoor wedding in the mountains in January, and no, I don’t know what they were thinking either).

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